Family Self-Esteem
January 25, 2021
I remember being in my kindergarten class and sitting on the big round carpet. My teacher, fondly known as Mrs. M&M, asked the class if we knew what the word “self-esteem” meant. After a period of silence, she explained that it’s how we think about ourselves—do we like ourselves? Is there anything we don’t like? While this isn’t the most vivid memory, I look back on it and think about how important this lesson was. My now 30-year-old self still struggles with self-esteem as she works with families and teenagers to help build up theirs’.
Self-esteem is made up of personal worth and a sense personal competence. Over time, our self-esteem develops parallel to our physical growth and just like habits, it begins at a very young age and the family environment can affect the way we view ourselves and others significantly.
According to a study done at the University of Washington, by age 5 children have a sense of self-esteem comparable in strength to that of adults
- Use positive language to describe yourself in front of your children. Positive words give children confidence and help build a sense of positive body image.
- Remember, you are a role model!
- Avoid negative language such as,
- “I look fat, I need to go on a diet,” or
- “My thighs look huge in these jeans, I better go on Atkins and lose 10 pounds.”
- Serve nutritious meals and snacks using the MyPlate method [2].
- Healthy eating is associated with better self-esteem and fewer emotional and peer problems, such as having fewer friends or being picked on or bullied, in children regardless of body weight, according to a study published in the open access journal BMC Public Health [3].
- Allow children to serve themselves food, which allows them to feel independent.
- When giving children words of encouragement, use Process Praise.
- Process praise means using “noticing language” to reinforce good behaviors, such as:
- “I see you tried the carrots today! How do they taste?”
- “Wow! You worked so hard to learn to balance on your bicycle!”
- “That’s very kind of you to help your sister clean up.”
- Process praise means using “noticing language” to reinforce good behaviors, such as:
Additional Resource: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/effects-of-parental-involvement-on-self-confidence-and-self-esteem-0716134
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